Is the Woman Responsible for Spousal Extramarital Affairs?

When apprehended, an adulterous man stoutly denies the affair or blames his spouse for driving him into committing such an act. Do women really drive their men into extra marital affairs? Some people agree that men are driven into seeking love outside marital boundaries, when it is non-existent in their marriage. Their spouse can partly be blamed for the loveless marriage.

Love and affection are vital not only for the survival of a relationship but also for making human existence happy. When it is repudiated, these lonely people stray outside marital confines seeking self-validation.

Denial of Love Makes a Man Vulnerable

Denial of spousal love makes people feel worthless and rejected and these feelings commonly turn them defenceless and they turn infidel.

Though marital unhappiness makes people susceptible, it is wrong to believe that every infidel person emerges from an unhappy home. Quite a few happily married men are also adulterous. It is individual thinking that makes them so. Men tend to draw a strict demarcating line between love and sex. Though they love their wife, they engage in illicit relationships to spice up life. Basically, it’s the cultural upbringing that determines whether adultery is perceived to be wrong or accepted.

Upbringing and Individual Attitude

Men are known to stray more than women in patriarchal households where the philandering men in the family are responsible for nurturing generations of infidel men down the line. The socio-economic conditions at the home front have a deep impact on the attitudes of the family members. It is heredity in such a lineage, to be strict with the women and encourage men to turn adventurous. As infidelity is forbidden by society and religion, the prohibition incites these adventurous men. The associated excitement of it makes adultery desirable.

These could be the general reasons that promote adultery. However, it is not right to blame anyone, and infidelity is usually individual responsibility.

Infidel Individual at Places of Work

Individuals, holding liberal views on adultery, are more inclined to have affairs in the office. Attraction between men and women is common while working in close proximity. If the physical relationship is followed by emotional attachment, the alliance turns stronger than the marital bond.

Once the extramarital relationship proves pleasurable and goes unnoticed by family, the man begins craving for more of such experiences. Such an excitement induces changes in the brain chemistry that makes adultery addictive. Addiction to adultery then becomes a problem that has to be handled by professional experts. However, it is not the work place alone where extramarital liaisons are developed; affairs can be developed at home too.

Online Affairs Developed at Home

In families where both the spouses are working, the wife spends all her free time with the children. The subsequent lack of attention induces the man to engage in other activities. It is at such leisure times that online relationships get developed. (Cyber affairs are alluring for the secrecy and privacy they offer.)

Developments of such affairs are usually accidental. Though the people concerned lack physical contact, they are deeply attached to their online partner. Such emotional bonding gives rise to intense crisis in the family. The good news is that, after enduring such distressing circumstances, marriages are turning stronger. The spouse of the infidel person wakes up and pays attention to marital problems by redressing them with remedial measures.

‘Adultery’ in a marriage, is a complex issue. Reasons as to what drives spouses to become unfaithful vary greatly and the factors leading to it differ according to gender. 9 out of 10 people disapprove infidelity, yet more than 3 out of 10 men develop extramarital relationships. Human heart is designed to love, and adultery is an offshoot of this characteristic.

1. Which features will be the most important to you? If you live in a city a dating service with a large number of people living in a rural area may not be very important. If you are a Christian that values religion finding a member who has the same views as you could be what you are looking for.

2. How much money are you willing to spend on your monthly membership.No matter how much benefits and features a dating service offers, if you can not afford it the point is moot. One bit of advice is avoid free membership sites. As you have noticed in many of these tips paid memberships are better than free memberships for everything from safety to choices.

3. What type of profile matching system do they offer. Your profile is your online resume and the key to finding members to meet. Profile matching is great for filtering through millions of members to zero in on who matches well for you. This does not mean you can not browse all members if you choose that as well.

4. Would you like to have off-line events available to you. Speed dating is one example of members meeting off-line and having a chance to quickly meet a large number of possible dating partners.

5. We should probably list this first for women and that is safety. There are some dating services which will do background checks on all subscribers to certify their background, marital status, and age. In these days and times this is an important feature to have.

6. Privacy can be important at first, along with that is security. You may not want other members to know that you have joined a dating service. You can also keep certain things on your profile private in the beginning if you choose.

This is 6 things that makes an internet dating service good for you. Of course everyone has different things that are most important to them. Thankfully today dating services are more safe and quality oriented to offer you a great experience if you choose to use them.

Top 5 Reasons to Attend Christian Singles Groups

Christian singles groups provide a place to belong.

In order to be healthy and enjoy life to the max, people need to feel wanted and needed. They need to have a feeling of belonging. As the Cheers TV theme song relays: “Be glad there’s one place in the world to call home, a place where everybody knows your name, and they’re so glad you came.”

Although there are some great positives for having online fellowships, nothing quite takes the place of face to face contact. In Christian singles groups and support groups, you can meet people in your immediate area who share similar circumstances (single parents, separated, divorced, widowed, college and career aged, etc.), and feel wanted and understood.

Christian singles groups offer encouragement.

Hey, we all need encouragement and a warm hug at times. Well, the dynamic of Christian singles small groups creates a place where you can find comfort in your times of need. There will also be excellent opportunities to minister to other single men and woman who need help.

Christian singles groups provide a non-threatening place to learn about God and the Bible.

The accepting and laid-back setting of a Christian singles group forms a great place to ask questions and grow spiritually without feeling judged or out of place. For example, I personally experienced this facet about Christian singles groups when I attended the Alpha Course.

Attending Christian Singles Groups is a great way to meet new friends.

If you attend Christian singles groups on a regular basis, you will develop positive, intimate and godly relationships with all types of singles. It’s also an awesome environment to gain better understanding of yourself and others-especially the opposite sex

Christian singles groups are just plain fun.

Singles groups are a great alternative to the hollow bar and club hopping scene that leaves many feeling empty and unfulfilled. Many Christian singles groups offer a wide variety of activities that will keep your interest.

The second time was a rebound off of the previous situation – what was I thinking???

This time there was a wedding – and just as I was about to divorce the guy 2 years later, I found out that my marriage wasn’t legal to begin with – so I got an anullment for sixty bucks.

I spent the next 10 years of my life dating a few guys but I never felt empowered in my relationships with them. Right before I moved out west, I was dating a guy who was 20 years older than myself. One Sunday afternoon, he sat me on his knee (like a daughter) and gave me the talk that I wish my own father had given me around age 14 or so. He taught me what I needed to know about how men think and how to maintain my own standards and self-esteem regarding dating relationships. (By the way, he’s a published author on relationships).

Let me tell you, my whole world changed after that afternoon. I learned that I now had the key to attract the types of relationships I desire – be they of a personal or of a business nature. No longer did I feel like a victim of romantic circumstances! I felt like a caterpillar who had just metamorphed into a monarch butterfly. To this day, when I remember to follow this advice, things always turn out great.

So, what I share in my book, Love & Diamonds In 90 Days (http://www.TheLovePlaybook.com) is what I learned about harnessing my own power as a woman – especially as it relates to relationships. And, I show single women how to do the same thing for themselves. Many of my readers have applied this method to their lives and succeeded beyond their dreams!

When you truly understand and apply this key to great relationships, the world will treat YOU right.

On the one hand, for some guys it seems appropriate to get to know several ladies because they have more chances to have “love chemistry” with at least one. Some afraid that if they correspond with one woman only and then find no chemistry during the personal meeting, then it all would have been a waste of their time, money and the most awful – crash of their dream.

The most complicated thing for men, dating several ladies online, is that each of these women is great, and men do not want to be wrong or hurt any of them without knowing in person. Some fear that each might feel that she has found “chemistry” with him. Any guy who simultaneously experiences several online affairs can get an increasing sense that each one of his ladies is feeling that their written relationship is becoming more serious.

It’s very common that a man usually starts his online wife- search being in touch with several girls who he thinks as potentially having a chance to be the queen of his heart. Then, most of the guys narrow it down to just two or even one lady before making a visit. It can naturally happen that during the long months of correspondence some girl may find another guy whom she thinks is more alluring for her. Some men intentionally do the three-way conference calls to be sure about the feelings they and their ladies share, and of course to get rid of some concerns and doubts. So, when a guy orders a call in the agency he accounts to guess things from what he hears and then, he is also able to follow the girl’s reaction in a live talk.

One more common question: do the ladies really understand that their online fiances may date other girls from their agency as well? The ladies usually guess they are not the only brides their men are correspondimg with. But they also truly understand that as for themselves as for their men it’s a lifetime decision and the right choice can be vitally important. That’s why all the ladies try to be as much sincere as possible. They all believe in their uniqueness and really hope their true nature and personality are going to work. Many of them the same as their men believe that they can truly determine a “soul mate” from letters but still the face-to-face date is needed to find the personal love chemistry.

The bottom line is: just listen to your heart. And if it says that this is the special person you were looking for, then go for it. But if there still some little doubts, and you want some insurance, then choose another one female whom you find interesting and you feel you would like to know her better. And then, while visiting your Russian bride you can also have another date that will make yourself comfortable and confident with your decision.

“Jackie, what happens when you try to talk with Sam about this?”

“He just gets defensive and blames me for his unhappiness. I just don’t know what to do.”

“It sounds like Sam wants control over you, but is very resistant to anything you have to say, and then the two of you get into a power struggle. What I think might help is doing what I call ‘prescribing the symptom.’ Let’s do some role-plays so you can see what I mean. You be Sam complaining and I will be you.”

(Jackie being Sam, using a whiny voice) “Honey, I just couldn’t sleep last night, and I’m feeling so anxious about work. Maybe tonight we can be together.”

(Me, being Jackie) “Sam maybe if you whine just a little bit more and try to make me feel really guilty, I will feel turned on to you!”

“Wow,” laughed Jackie, “that might work!”

“Let’s try some other role-plays.”

“Okay. (Being Sam, yelling) You know what Jackie? I’ve had it with you. I don’t feel loved at all. Why should I stay in the marriage?”

(Me, being Jackie) “Sam, you are not being angry and threatening enough. Maybe if you yell even louder and threaten more you can have control over getting me to love you.”

“Oh, I love this! I think that Sam is the kind of person who will really get this!”

In our next session Jackie had much to report.

“This was a terrific week! I prescribed the symptom at least three times! Each time Sam looked at me like I was crazy and then started to laugh. He is really getting how ridiculous it is for him to think that whining and complaining and yelling will get me turned on to him. Near the end of the week he was much lighter and happier and I actually felt turned on to him! We made love for the first time in months.”

Prescribing the symptom is an excellent way for some people to gain awareness of what they are doing that is not working well for them. When you are prescribing the symptom, it is important to:

1. Speak in a light, joking way, with no judgment.

2. Describe the behavior, encouraging the person to do it even more.

3. Describe the intent behind the behavior. For example, the intent of Sam’s whining and complaining was to make Jackie feel guilty enough to give in. The intent behind anger or complaining is to have control over getting what the person wants. It is very helpful to articulate this intent to control, as I did in the role-play by saying, “Maybe if you yell even louder and threaten more you can have control over getting me to love you.”

Many people are resistant and hate it when someone tells them what to do. When you tell a resistant person to do exactly what they are doing, and in fact to do it even more, they are likely to resist you and stop doing what they are doing – whether they are children or adults. After all, when someone is whining and complaining or getting angry, he or she is being a controlling child who wants to be in control, but does not want to be controlled.

Sometimes, prescribing the symptom can work wonders!

Online infidelity is where you cheat on your wife or husband by looking at porn on the Internet. It could also be a girlfriend chetaing on a boyfriend or vice versa. The Internet is a powerful presence and makes it possible to cheat at almost any place, and any time.

So what can you do to help yourself stay out of the position to do Internet infidelity. Lets take a look and answer that question right now.

1. When you go on your net, be sure and have a reason for going on the Internet. Being lonely or bored is not a good reason to be on the Internet, because it can only get you in trouble. If you have an argument with your significant other then that is not the time to go online.

2. Be honest with yourself. If the Internet is causing you problems with infidelity then you need to address that by admitting that you do have a problem. Only then will you be able to start taking the steps to stop your Internet infidelity.

3. Changer your email address if you are getting contacted by a previous online infidelity. Unsubscribe yourself if you are registered in any chat rooms. And if you use Instant Messenger remove that from your computer.

The same goes for text messaging on your cell phone. And if you use your cell phone for Internet access in any way, be careful not to fall in the trap of Internet fidelity there either.

4. If you use a laptop computer with wireless internet then only go online when you have your computer out in an open space. If you have a destop pc move it out in the open somewhere where you can be seen at all times.

5. Another thing you can do is install computer monitoring or filtering software, which will help prevent you from doing things that you cannot prevent yourself from doing.

6. An obvious things that you can do is spend more time with your spouse, friends, or family. Do more things to get outside such as go to a movie, go shopping, take a walk or ride a bike, attend a sporting event, and so on. These are all things that will help you get up and get away your computer.

This is six things that you can do to stop your online infidelity. The good news for you is these really will work if you try them.